Can't Resist

Sorry, I just can't resist passing this on. It is just so good. PLEASE read this.

http://www.danoah.com/2010/11/worthless-men-and-women-who-make-them.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheAdventuresOfDanAndNoah+%28Single+Dad+Laughing%29

Planning for the Future

My daughter has officially turned 5 years old. It is kind of intense. How did we get here this fast?


Today at lunch she was pondering over the future.
She said to me "I don't know who I am going to marry mom."
Me-"Was there anyone you were thinking about?"
Naomi -" I was thinking about  'Scott Wheeler'"
(Scott happens to not the the real name of the adult she is referring to. He also happens to be about 32 years old.)
Me- "Oh yeah? Why do you think he would be good for marrying?"
Naomi- "Well, he has a dog. And if I married him, I could have a dog!"

She knows what is important to her. She's got a list she is checking guys against.

Nose issues

We had a very serious incident at the dinner table this evening.

Naomi stole her father's nose. It was a bit alarming. Ethan called out for my attention as our now 5 year old sat there with her fathers nose between her fingers.

We told her that he needed it back. He would look silly, couldn't smell anymore, would have to hold his glasses up with his hands.

 After all these pleas she took a very disturbing course of action.

She ate it. She sat there and chomped that nose right down, there at the dinner table.

She giggled hysterically as she chewed and swallowed that nose. When we asked what Dad was going to do without that nose, she finally consented to return it. But how? She had already eaten it.

She "choked" it back out for him. Finally she put it back in place.

Luckily she doesn't seem to chew her food very thoroughly, as the nose seems undamaged.






I had tears pouring down my face from laughing so hard.
Why would anyone NOT want to have children. Think of the things you are missing out on.
 

Such a Gift

I just wanted to tell you that I am grateful that skin is such a washable surface. Even if you dont' scrub it off, most things eventually wear off anyway.

I am so grateful for washable skin.

Airport Security Here! Put your clothes in this bin, please!

Ok. So now when you fly you get to be subjected to a full body scan, in which they look through you clothes and stare at you naked. The other option is a full body pat down. Neither sounds all that appealing to me. I personally think things have gone completely insane that you have to be felt up or stripped  ( by a machine, I know no one is removing your clothes) to board a plane.

Here are my thoughts on the subject.  (As always I am here to fulfill your need of my thoughts in your life.)

Let's start with the facts.-
There are evil people in this world.
They want to hurt us.
They have found airplanes to be a very effective tactic for inflicting terror.
There are people who think they are doing the right thing by "protecting" us with things like the scanners.

Here is a commonly forgotten fact.-
Where there is a will, there is a way.

I know we would all like to believe that now that you can see everything we will all be safe.

That is what we have thought through previous security level raises. At least what we were told anyway. Now that we have X-ray machines, nothing can get through. And metal detectors. And our quart sized baggies, and shoe removal procedures. The lack of cologne. We have done it! We can all fly safely now!

But then we weren't.

Where there is a will, there is a way.

There are people who seriously have a WILL to hurt innocent people. Sad, I know, but that doesn't stop it from being true.

They will eventually find a way. They always do. They will find some crazy, and creative way to get something through security and hopefully be foiled before there is a problem.

The point is though, they will simply find some way.

What is there left to do security-wise? You are already staring at us NAKED. There isn't much more left. There isn't ANYTHING left. Do we just fly nude after the next attempt? Is an INTERNAL exam requirement for flying to visit your mother for Thanksgiving soon? Colonoscopies free at the airport with the purchase of a ticket!

Just make sure you get there 9 hours early. It might take a while for them to help everyone. Then again, I don't know how many people will be flying by then.

The Screwtape Letters

Brilliance. Pure Brilliance. That is what I have to say about the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. He was an inspired man I tell you.On an earlier post I put up a link to an article, which I hope you all read, about real woman. I immediately thought of this quote from Lewis.

In case you have not read, or know nothing about the Screwtape Letters, the idea is that it is a series of letters written by one devil to another. Here is the comment-

"We have engineered a great increase in the licence in which society allows to the representation of apparent nude (not the real nude) in art, and its exhibition on the stage of the bathing beach. It is all a fake of course: the real women in bathing suits or tights are actually pinched in and propped up to make them appear firmer and more slender and more boyish than nature allows a full- grown woman to be. Yet at the same time, the moder world is taught to believe that it is being "frank" and "healthy"and getting back to nature. As a result we are more and more directing the desires of men to something which does not exist-making the role of the eye in sexuality more and more important and at the same time making demands more and more impossible. What follows you can easily forecast!"

Here is the link again, I sincerely recommend you read it. And read the entire way to the end. It is worth your time honest.
http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html

My Frustration

One of the things I find excruciatingly frustrating as a mother is that I clean up messes.

I know that is part of being a mom. I should get over it.

Messes do drive me crazy, some days more than others. Especially messes that don't need to happen. Such as putting your cup to close to the edge of the table and knocking it off. Didn't need to happen.

Today's infuriation happens to be.... (drum roll)....

Cleaning up the same thing, over and over and over and over.

We received a very cool card in the mail ( thank you Marie) that I put on the fridge. Every time I turn around it is on the floor. I have picked it up about 8 times now. How many times do you need to scale the fridge to look at it already? Can't you just admire it from ground level? And why can't you just out it back if you do knock it down?

I know this isn't that big of a deal. But for the moment it is driving me nuts.

It is along the lines of - why on earth are there so many toys on my kitchen floor? Why can't you play where the toys belong? And if you can't play there- why are you abandoning them in here? I don't need to trip on Hot Wheels, swords and teddy bears while I make dinner!

And you were admiring me for enjoying the stage they are in.....

Read this

Read this. It is awesome.

It is a single dad talking about "real" woman. Well worth your time.


http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html

Random Memory

This happened a long time ago. I just have a fear of forgetting it. Plus I thought you might be amused.

I was sitting  on the couch reading. Naomi and Victor were at the table.

Suddenly there was a WHUMP and crying followed by " I told you it was a bad idea."

I then asked what had happened.

Victor answered "Naomi told me to hit her. So I hit her."

I just stood there and laughed.



A side note- Caleb kept putting additional shirts on today. He ended up with a hoodie underneath a shirt. Ethan called him "the Hunchback of our street." It made me laugh.

Money

When my husband and I were expecting our first baby, we had decided that I would stay home with the children. I frequently ran into people who would say things like "How are you going to afford that?" I told them we would find a way.

We did.

Without my income it was really hard for a while.

I have not been employed for the last 6 years. Mind you for the first portion of this my husband did not make a lot of money.

To allow me to stay home and take care of our family we:
Got rid of our car
Used clothe diapers (not the cool new ones, old ones you fold and use safety pins on.)
Went internetless
Cable and Satellite-less
Never ate out. My husband even packed lunches for work.
Had no cell phone.Cut the cost on the home phone.

Was it hard? Yes
Was it pleasant? No. It is horrible to walk across town in February with a baby and stuff in tow to catch a ride to church.
Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Because I stayed home we were able to:
Always have someone we trusted and knew taking care of our children ( ya know- me.)
Taking care of babies LATE at night wasn't as big of a deal.
Never had to pay for day care.
Never worried about sick days.
Allowed me the ability to focus on raising our children with out the outside stresses of employment.

There are so many wonderful blessings from being at home with my kids. I don't comprehend how working mothers handle things.

It breaks my heart when I hear a woman say "I have to work." I understand there are situations that require it. As I mentioned, we have been in tough financial straights before. There are times where it is an absolute necessity.

I just have a hard time when they say they HAVE to work, when really it is just to maintain the lifestyle. I understand how hard it is to live without somethings. Cable is such a wonderful thing to live WITHOUT. If you have never been without cable or satellite you do not understand how wonderful it is to be free of it.

A friend of mine is in a very hard financial situation. They called Dish and canceled. That is over $1,000 a year they are saving. Now they use Netflix for a grand total of $9 a month. How much does one really watch on TV to justify a cost of $1000 a year? Even $500? Go ahead add up your bill. Do you really watch that much TV? If you are - how much of life are you missing out on?

I know I am a judgemental person. I admit it. I am also working on it. I know I don't have the whole story every time. When I hear people complain about money, sometimes I want to have them hand over their bank statement and go over it with them. So many things aren't as important as you think they are.

You can always make more money, you can not make more time.

It's mine

Sometimes I am a really selfish mom. Such as when I want to eat the whole slice of pizza without sharing. Yes it is the last one. No there is no more. You should have grabbed it from the fridge before me if you wanted it.

My husband is so much nicer about that stuff. He actually shares.

Sometimes I feel guilty when I listen to other people talk about how much  mothers give up for their children. There are things I give up. But I don't give up everything every time. Sometimes it is mine.

This post would make my husband laugh because I mooch off of him. I am willing to share with him everything all the time though....

I have a good life.

Here are a few things that I really enjoy-

• The way a baby breathes when they get all excited.
• My toddler who wants to be taken seriously, even though he is wearing a chicken costume.
• My daughter who can make up a new language with amazing efficiency.
• The same daughter who told me she couldn't come help with the dishwasher because "the (stuffed) animals NEED me."
• How completely wound up my toddler gets right before bedtime. He cracks me up.
• I put up a paper to start making a list of things my family is grateful for. Before I had the opportunity to work with the family, my school age son just started writting his own personal list.
• My husband is enjoying the book on CD I got from the library. ( Now if I had a disc resurfacer to fix the scratched ones...)
• A clean kitchen.
• How hard it is to play hide-and-seek while holding a baby. Especially a baby who likes to grab the door you are hiding behind and swing it back and forth while squealing in anticipation of being found.
• When my kids accomplish what I asked them to, without me hunting them down to get it done.
• The comment my toddler said when I walked into the kitchen to find milk flowing off the table. When I looked down at the bowl full to the brim with milk and 4 total rice crispies he asked me "Is this too much mom?"
• My son loves going to school and is doing well.
• Th same son has such patience. He has had the same lose tooth for weeks now. He doesn't bother to wiggle it. He just leaves it alone. What child leaves a lose tooth alone?
• I can visit other people who have pets, but don't have to clean up after one myself.
• My menu that is all planned out.
• The trip to the temple and the things that I learned.
• My food storage.
• When I can help other people.
• When I can include my children in helping people.
• The 1lb package of Peanutbutter Cups my Brother-in-law gave us. Yes, each cup is 8 oz.

Yes, my life is good.