Sorry, I just can't resist passing this on. It is just so good. PLEASE read this.
http://www.danoah.com/2010/11/worthless-men-and-women-who-make-them.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheAdventuresOfDanAndNoah+%28Single+Dad+Laughing%29
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Planning for the Future
My daughter has officially turned 5 years old. It is kind of intense. How did we get here this fast?
Today at lunch she was pondering over the future.
She said to me "I don't know who I am going to marry mom."
Me-"Was there anyone you were thinking about?"
Naomi -" I was thinking about 'Scott Wheeler'"
(Scott happens to not the the real name of the adult she is referring to. He also happens to be about 32 years old.)
Me- "Oh yeah? Why do you think he would be good for marrying?"
Naomi- "Well, he has a dog. And if I married him, I could have a dog!"
She knows what is important to her. She's got a list she is checking guys against.
Today at lunch she was pondering over the future.
She said to me "I don't know who I am going to marry mom."
Me-"Was there anyone you were thinking about?"
Naomi -" I was thinking about 'Scott Wheeler'"
(Scott happens to not the the real name of the adult she is referring to. He also happens to be about 32 years old.)
Me- "Oh yeah? Why do you think he would be good for marrying?"
Naomi- "Well, he has a dog. And if I married him, I could have a dog!"
She knows what is important to her. She's got a list she is checking guys against.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Nose issues
We had a very serious incident at the dinner table this evening.
Naomi stole her father's nose. It was a bit alarming. Ethan called out for my attention as our now 5 year old sat there with her fathers nose between her fingers.
We told her that he needed it back. He would look silly, couldn't smell anymore, would have to hold his glasses up with his hands.
After all these pleas she took a very disturbing course of action.
She ate it. She sat there and chomped that nose right down, there at the dinner table.
She giggled hysterically as she chewed and swallowed that nose. When we asked what Dad was going to do without that nose, she finally consented to return it. But how? She had already eaten it.
She "choked" it back out for him. Finally she put it back in place.
Luckily she doesn't seem to chew her food very thoroughly, as the nose seems undamaged.
I had tears pouring down my face from laughing so hard.
Why would anyone NOT want to have children. Think of the things you are missing out on.
Naomi stole her father's nose. It was a bit alarming. Ethan called out for my attention as our now 5 year old sat there with her fathers nose between her fingers.
We told her that he needed it back. He would look silly, couldn't smell anymore, would have to hold his glasses up with his hands.
After all these pleas she took a very disturbing course of action.
She ate it. She sat there and chomped that nose right down, there at the dinner table.
She giggled hysterically as she chewed and swallowed that nose. When we asked what Dad was going to do without that nose, she finally consented to return it. But how? She had already eaten it.
She "choked" it back out for him. Finally she put it back in place.
Luckily she doesn't seem to chew her food very thoroughly, as the nose seems undamaged.
I had tears pouring down my face from laughing so hard.
Why would anyone NOT want to have children. Think of the things you are missing out on.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Such a Gift
I just wanted to tell you that I am grateful that skin is such a washable surface. Even if you dont' scrub it off, most things eventually wear off anyway.
I am so grateful for washable skin.
I am so grateful for washable skin.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Airport Security Here! Put your clothes in this bin, please!
Ok. So now when you fly you get to be subjected to a full body scan, in which they look through you clothes and stare at you naked. The other option is a full body pat down. Neither sounds all that appealing to me. I personally think things have gone completely insane that you have to be felt up or stripped ( by a machine, I know no one is removing your clothes) to board a plane.
Here are my thoughts on the subject. (As always I am here to fulfill your need of my thoughts in your life.)
Let's start with the facts.-
There are evil people in this world.
They want to hurt us.
They have found airplanes to be a very effective tactic for inflicting terror.
There are people who think they are doing the right thing by "protecting" us with things like the scanners.
Here is a commonly forgotten fact.-
Where there is a will, there is a way.
I know we would all like to believe that now that you can see everything we will all be safe.
That is what we have thought through previous security level raises. At least what we were told anyway. Now that we have X-ray machines, nothing can get through. And metal detectors. And our quart sized baggies, and shoe removal procedures. The lack of cologne. We have done it! We can all fly safely now!
But then we weren't.
Where there is a will, there is a way.
There are people who seriously have a WILL to hurt innocent people. Sad, I know, but that doesn't stop it from being true.
They will eventually find a way. They always do. They will find some crazy, and creative way to get something through security and hopefully be foiled before there is a problem.
The point is though, they will simply find some way.
What is there left to do security-wise? You are already staring at us NAKED. There isn't much more left. There isn't ANYTHING left. Do we just fly nude after the next attempt? Is an INTERNAL exam requirement for flying to visit your mother for Thanksgiving soon? Colonoscopies free at the airport with the purchase of a ticket!
Just make sure you get there 9 hours early. It might take a while for them to help everyone. Then again, I don't know how many people will be flying by then.
Here are my thoughts on the subject. (As always I am here to fulfill your need of my thoughts in your life.)
Let's start with the facts.-
There are evil people in this world.
They want to hurt us.
They have found airplanes to be a very effective tactic for inflicting terror.
There are people who think they are doing the right thing by "protecting" us with things like the scanners.
Here is a commonly forgotten fact.-
Where there is a will, there is a way.
I know we would all like to believe that now that you can see everything we will all be safe.
That is what we have thought through previous security level raises. At least what we were told anyway. Now that we have X-ray machines, nothing can get through. And metal detectors. And our quart sized baggies, and shoe removal procedures. The lack of cologne. We have done it! We can all fly safely now!
But then we weren't.
Where there is a will, there is a way.
There are people who seriously have a WILL to hurt innocent people. Sad, I know, but that doesn't stop it from being true.
They will eventually find a way. They always do. They will find some crazy, and creative way to get something through security and hopefully be foiled before there is a problem.
The point is though, they will simply find some way.
What is there left to do security-wise? You are already staring at us NAKED. There isn't much more left. There isn't ANYTHING left. Do we just fly nude after the next attempt? Is an INTERNAL exam requirement for flying to visit your mother for Thanksgiving soon? Colonoscopies free at the airport with the purchase of a ticket!
Just make sure you get there 9 hours early. It might take a while for them to help everyone. Then again, I don't know how many people will be flying by then.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The Screwtape Letters
Brilliance. Pure Brilliance. That is what I have to say about the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. He was an inspired man I tell you.On an earlier post I put up a link to an article, which I hope you all read, about real woman. I immediately thought of this quote from Lewis.
In case you have not read, or know nothing about the Screwtape Letters, the idea is that it is a series of letters written by one devil to another. Here is the comment-
"We have engineered a great increase in the licence in which society allows to the representation of apparent nude (not the real nude) in art, and its exhibition on the stage of the bathing beach. It is all a fake of course: the real women in bathing suits or tights are actually pinched in and propped up to make them appear firmer and more slender and more boyish than nature allows a full- grown woman to be. Yet at the same time, the moder world is taught to believe that it is being "frank" and "healthy"and getting back to nature. As a result we are more and more directing the desires of men to something which does not exist-making the role of the eye in sexuality more and more important and at the same time making demands more and more impossible. What follows you can easily forecast!"
Here is the link again, I sincerely recommend you read it. And read the entire way to the end. It is worth your time honest.
http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html
In case you have not read, or know nothing about the Screwtape Letters, the idea is that it is a series of letters written by one devil to another. Here is the comment-
"We have engineered a great increase in the licence in which society allows to the representation of apparent nude (not the real nude) in art, and its exhibition on the stage of the bathing beach. It is all a fake of course: the real women in bathing suits or tights are actually pinched in and propped up to make them appear firmer and more slender and more boyish than nature allows a full- grown woman to be. Yet at the same time, the moder world is taught to believe that it is being "frank" and "healthy"and getting back to nature. As a result we are more and more directing the desires of men to something which does not exist-making the role of the eye in sexuality more and more important and at the same time making demands more and more impossible. What follows you can easily forecast!"
Here is the link again, I sincerely recommend you read it. And read the entire way to the end. It is worth your time honest.
http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html
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