New arrival and the after math

I am pleased to announce that our new baby has arrived. Her name is Zipporah Miriam and she was 8 lbs 3 oz, 20 inches long.

Despite the silly Dr telling me she would be here on Nov 14th, my assurances to the Dr that she would not be hereby that date, and my announcing to everyone else that it would be Thanksgiving before we would have the honor of meeting her- she was born on the 19th. Now some of you may think "oh man, 5 days over due." I say "Woohoo! Only 5 days over due!" Seeing as all of my children have been 8 days  or more over unless induced, it was shocking to me how early she came.

For those of you who care about actual labor and delivery details here we go-
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Tuesday morning I started showing signs of actual labor. I figured by Wed morning I would be holding a sweet little baby. Hey, that is how it worked for Ruby. So my mom spent the night. And by morning we all got up and went through the same routine. Contractions had woken me occasionally during the night but that was it.

I spent all day Tuesday doing nothing. Seriously, it was like I couldn't think of anything purposeful to accomplish, plus I was having really painful contractions that were impressively erratic. So I napped on the couch while everyone was at school and my mom took the toddler.

My mom spent the night AGAIN Wed. Finally around 1 am the contractions were painful enough and frequent enough that sleep was simply no longer an option. Around 3 am I woke Ethan and we walked to the hospital. Yes, I said walk. It isn't very far and the weather was quite nice. Plus it was good for labor.

Got in around 3:30 am. Got an epidural. I always have this silly idea I will tough it out and then be so far along we can just skip to actual delivery. Never works. I feel like I am going to die and then just get the epidural so I don't die. You women out there that have several children with out an epidural are like super heroes. I am simply not that tough.

Sadly contractions stopped almost as soon as the epidural kicked in. So they put me on a low dose of Pitocin. Not ideal, but at least I wasn't completely induced.  at about 6:45 am it was time to push. I was holding a baby at 6:52.  I was astounded at how fast I was suddenly holding a baby. I approve.

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Now to non delivery details-

I am really truly grateful for the wonderful capable husband. I am glad that he can keep things running while I am down and out. And that he has been able to stay home with us for a nice long time.

I am grateful for the various relatives that have stepped in to fill gaps. It really helps,


Her name. It is a bit unique. I admit it. Zipporah is the name of the woman Moses married. Study up on her. She was amazing. She was a woman who really stepped up when she needed to. Miriam is the name I had wanted originally, but got switched to the middle. Yes, she also happens to be Moses's sister.

(We did come across the name Sapphira in the bible. I was kind of tempted. Naomi made a good case for it. However, then we actually studied her story and decided Zipporah was a better namesake. Seriously, go look up Sapphira. Kinda crazy.)

Victor loves her and enjoys sniffing her. Naomi is being impressively motherly. Caleb thinks Zipporah is super neat and loves holding her. Phebe thinks the idea of the baby is neat but doesn't interact with her all that much.

Ruby was the one who I suspected would struggle most. She definitely has had the most radical change in behavior. Not horribly but you can tell her world has been rocked. She loves this baby though. LOVES her. So much tender caressing. So much announcing of love. Funny note though, before Zipporah's birth when asked what the baby's name was she would say "Happy". Even now, she frequently tells you the baby's name is "Happy". I am ok with that. It makes me smile.

It feels a bit surreal that I am a mother of 6. I only ever pictured myself with 4 children. But I have simply been extra blessed. I have a great family. That too makes me smile.

Keep Trying

This evening I was studying a conference address from April 2015. I remember thinking it was a pretty awesome talk. I was even more struck by it this evening. Maybe because I constantly feel like I am falling short somewhere. I find " Latter-day Saints keep trying" by Elder Renlund to be incredibly comforting, insightful and uplifting. I highly encourage you, even if you are not of the LDS faith, to listen to the message in this video.

I absolutely love the concept in this quote.:
For us, because of the Atonement of Christ and our repentance, we can look at our past deeds and say, “’Twas I; but ’tis not I.” No matter how wicked, we can say, “That’s who I was. But that past wicked self is no longer who I am.”
I love that you can accept the past, accept responsibility and acknowledge past events, but not be defined by them.


And what a simply beautiful promise here:
President Thomas S. Monson has taught, “One of God’s greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure ever need be final.”
No failure need ever be final. I need to just chant that over and over in my head. No failure ever need be final.

I love this talk. I will be coming back to it again.

I Love to see the Temple, and My Family, and Twirly Skirts

This was a pretty busy and fantastic weekend. Ethan and I had the opportunity to be present when one of my many fabulous cousins was married in the Indianapolis, Indiana temple.

 It is so pretty.

So was the bride. 

The groom got to be handsome instead.

Anyway, this was one of those events that made me really appreciate how cool my extended family is and how grateful I am that we can be together forever. 

Here are some of my personal highlights of the whole weekend-

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While setting up for the reception my kids got to hang out with cool older cousins. Evan and Alex both play guitar and found a room to hold their band practice. While Ethan and I helped set up decorations the kids joined that band. Xylophones and tambourines and happy singing accompanied the guitarists. They had lots of fun and learned important songs like  Weird Al's "This Here Anakin Guy." 

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During set up Ethan suggested that we do a bit of rearranging the props that were already there. I agreed with him. The problem was that there were pretty twinkle lights involved and not long enough extension chords to make the move. As we discussed the concept in walked my aunt. I asked her if she had any extension chords in her van. As I fully expected she said no, because honestly, who keeps extra extension chords in their vehicle? She then checked the custodial closet and came up empty handed. Not a big deal. It wasn't as if we NEEDED to rearrange. It would just look a bit nicer. We continued with decorating. 20 minutes later my aunt presented the needed chords. So the rearranging was put into action. While she helped me tape the chords down I asked her where she had found them. Apparently she had simply walked across the street to a random neighbor who was outside smoking a cigarette and asked him if he had some extension chords she could borrow. I want you to understand that this woman doesn't even live in this state. But he said yes, and she solved our problem. I truly admire not only her ability to just get stuff done, but the fact that she didn't even mention how she had gotten it done until specifically asked. I need to be a better problem solver. 

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During the reception my uncle sang a song accompanied by the guitarist portions of the earlier mentioned band. It was Turn Around my Harry Belefonte. In the background mostly little girls, and mostly his daughters and granddaughters took turns walking across the stage wearing white dresses that twirled glamorously. After the song, Phebe and Naomi wore them and spun and spun. In fact Phebe wore that dress the rest of the evening. 

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The large group of young children realized the stage would be an awesome place to show off their dance moves and also realized that they could reach the light switches. So it looked like of like a rave was happening on stage. Children dancing their heart out, Phebe front and center in her twirly dress, and the lights switching constantly . Red, blue, yellow, off, white, green, blue, on and on. 

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Ruby took a bit to get into the dancing as there was a bit of a sensory overload. She decided after a while that this was indeed a place of fun dancing until a fateful moment. The bride had specifically picked a song to dance with all her beloved nieces and nephews and random small children. It was the Hokey Pokey. Ruby took a moment to listen to the music and then folded her arms and walked away with a look of supreme disgust on her face. How utterly degrading. She would look over her shoulder at the group of happy dancers as she walked away from such a humiliating song.

It was hilarious. 

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I love my family. They are fun and entertaining and I am so glad my kids had a chance to just hang out with them. 

Letting go

So yesterday I learned a lesson. Maybe I internalized a lesson.

We were asked to watch 3 dogs for someone while they were on a trip. No problem. The children were given very explicit directions to do everything they could to prevent one particular dog from escaping. I helped one child in the house while two others were out taking care of the dogs in the kennel, which they had done 6 times without incident. When I walked out I was greeted by " MOM! MOM! She is getting away! She is running down the street!"

Seriously? It was caged! You were warned over and over again not to let her out! Grumble grumble. 

Let me set the stage for you here. There is a hound dog running down the street. There are 3 children, one bare foot, chasing after. We have the ultra friendly well behaved dog who thinks this is a grand adventure tagging along. And then we have me, 6 months pregnant, attempting to chase down the dog. It was 90 degrees.

I was not pleased. "How hard was it to keep the dog in the cage? You knew she would be hard to catch. You were warned multiple times. " All of this running through my head. But the thought also came to me " You need to say a prayer if this is going to end well and soon."

But I can't pray for help while I rant about my children. I had to choose. I don't know about you, but on occasion I kind of enjoy something to be upset over ( this is not my finest quality).  But being angry does not bring the dog back faster. Giving it up, and just saying a prayer does.

So I let go of my nasty thoughts, said a prayer, and  captured a dog. Within less then ten minutes the whole thing was over.

I can not get the help I need if I am using up my thought space on other, particularly unkind or impatient thoughts.

I am grateful I had the opportunity to have that lesson reemphasized to me.

A Heartbeat

I recently went to the Dr's office. It was a bit of an over due appointment. I had been putting it off since I knew what they were going to say. I have been through these same boring steps so many times. Let's measure this, ask these questions, take a test. Yup, everything looks good. Just like I had been expecting. 

But then came the moment I knew would come. It always comes. Somehow I had kind of forgotten about it. The moment for me when everything changed. 

The moment I could hear that heartbeat. That tiny human heart beat growing inside me. 

I have known I was pregnant for a while. All the symptoms were there. I was aware of the logistics that will need dealt with in coming months. 

That heart beat suddenly made it so much more personal.That tiny person that will someday be held in my arms, someday giggle. That tiny person that has so much potential, was real.

I am not just here to hang out with my Dr. I was here because of another little human. 

My Dr just kept on chatting. She knows I have been through this before. She told me she was glad I had come back for this again. 

For that brief moment though, her chatter didn't matter. That beautiful sound was all that was there. A strong healthy heart ( moving to avoid detection) was all that mattered. 

The new member of our clan will probably be here close to November. We are all (except perhaps Ruby) looking forward to it. 

Another heartbeat in our family. 

Let's dance

We were asked to sing a song as a family at a cousin's baptism.However, the song was not specified. So finally tonight we sat down to discuss which song would be best to sing. There was lots of conversation like-
 "I want this song."
" No, not that song, I hate that song."
"I love this one."
"Too boring."

Phebe's contribution was-
"I know! We need to sing a song they can get up and dance to!"

Um. Thank you. That would be fun. Maybe we will save that for refreshments afterward.

In the end we resorted to everyone writing their top 2 ideas on a piece of paper and then we tallied it up.

The results were:

2 - I know that My Savior Loves Me. ( An amazing song if you have never heard it.)
1 - Listen
1- A Child's Prayer (My favorite childhood primary song.)
1 -"I'll Hunt the Lions later while I'm with Ruth"
3 -When I am Baptized

Ethan helped Phebe fill out her vote. It read " When I am baptized (Ultimate Dance Remix.) "

I have the best husband ever.

Summer Throw Back

At one point this summer we went to Niagara Falls. It was super fun. I forgot how huge it really is. My mom and I took the kids. If you ever have a chance to go, budget the money to do the Cave of the Wind Tour. They give you sandals,  and a poncho ( that may or may not keep you dry.) and then they take you on a 17 story elevator to the bottom of the Bridal Veil Fall. It was so fun. We stood in line for along time. It was hot. The kids complained. But when we were leaving every kid informed me "That was so awesome!" and "That was definitely worth the wait in line!"

Yes, I am still not going to share pictures of my children, but I will share some other pictures and videos from the adventure.

 By the way, there is no cave involved.

 This leads up to the Hurricane Deck. That is where water just pours down on a platform. The kids LOVED it. As long as you didn't over analyze about your children slipping sideways and then falling between the railing to their utter doom, it was super awesome. Not that I would imagine horrible things and occasionally get really worried.

 It was incredibly fun. I highly recommend this adventure.

This is on the island between the Bridal Veil Falls and American Falls. No, those are not my children you see on either side.

It was a great trip. I intend to do it again.

As I search the holy scriptures...

We try to study scriptures as a family on a daily basis.

However, in case you have some idealized picture of what happens at my house, let me share with you a glimpse of scriptures with 5 children ranging in age from 1-10 years old.

Caleb opens a set of scriptures I used in high school. There are pieces of paper with additional quotes from prophets and such that are glued in between certain pages.There are also stickers that are put in to mark special passages. He removes a sticker from the page and drops it on the floor. Ruby quickly assaults his chair. She climbs up and promptly tears one glued in page out.

Ruby then acts like a cat playing with a mouse, only the mouse is a LEGO man that Victor is upset she found. She throws it in the air and squeals. We try to just read around her nonsense.Though Naomi is now trying to get out of reading a verse because it is too long. LEGO man hits the floor. I look in that direction of the LEGO drop and realize Phebe is chewing what appears to be gum. I tell her to spit it out since it couldn't possibly be gum.- It was the piece of paper Ruby had torn out. Guess I won't be replacing that.

At one point Ruby is in Phebe's chair trying desperately to play/rip out all of Phebe's hair.

Yes, we have scripture study. Some days are good. Some days ... um... we keep trying.

Some more love

I may have shared this particular talk with you before. This afternoon I listened to it again. I think it is worth the reminder.

"Brothers and sisters, some of our greatest opportunities to demonstrate our love will be within the walls of our own homes. Love should be the very heart of family life, and yet sometimes it is not. There can be too much impatience, too much arguing, too many fights, too many tears. Lamented President Gordon B. Hinckley: “Why is it that the [ones] we love [most] become so frequently the targets of our harsh words? Why is it that [we] sometimes speak as if with daggers that cut to the quick?”⁹ The answers to these questions may be different for each of us, and yet the bottom line is that the reasons do not matter. If we would keep the commandment to love one another, we must treat each other with kindness and respect."

You can watch the video below .You can find the text here.