ADD/ ADHD

Here is some vocabulary words for this post. Yes I am sure you are familiar with them, but just to make sure we are on the same page. Here you go-

ADD- Attention Deficit disorder.
ADHD -Attention deficite Hyperactive Disorder.

The (brief bit of ) research that I did came up with this little tid bit-

•Diagnosis of ADHD increased an average of 3% per year from 1997 to 2006.

Nearly ever classroom of 30 students has 1-3 students diagnosed with one of these conditions. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to handle a child who has a serious case of ADD or ADHD. I do however wonder on occasion why it is on the rise.

 I have heard many theories on why it is on the rise. Better diagnosis. Nutrition. Too much TV, video games or computer time. Possibly poor prenatal care. I bet all of these can be contributing factors. I admit that sometimes I don't really believe every kid who gets labeled really needs medicated. Not that was EVERY kid. I am sure some really benefit. I just wonder if sometimes it is easier to drug than change methods to handle the situation. I imagine there is some of both.

That being said, I have my own personal theory on a contributing factor to this epidemic.

Church.

Yup. I think church is a big factor.

I bet you think I am crazy right about now. What on earth does church have to do with ADD? Possibly nothing. Follow my train of thought for a moment.

In the past church was a HUGE part of society. Nearly everything shut down on Sundays because everyone was at church. It was expected of you. Sunday meant church attendance and children were not given an out. They also didn't have their cell phones or hand held video games joining them if they were forced to attend.

(It is amazingly hard to find a graph of church attendance, so here is the best I could do.)

 
This is not worldwide church attendance or even all of the US.  I do like however that you can see the physical decline in picture form. ( Glad I do not have to turn this in for a grade.)
 
Here is one of the stats I came across-
The percentage of American adults who identify themselves as Christians dropped from 86% in 1990 to 77% in 2001. This is an unprecedented drop of almost 1 percentage point per year.
(if you wan to read more of those statistics here is the link- http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_tren.htm )
 
Ok, so moving on down the track on my train of thought, I theorize that part of the problem is lack of church attendance.
 
I don't know that my children really are any calmer or any rowdier than the average child.  They do however,  know how to sit and be quiet ( admittedly not as long as I would like the threshold to be. )
 
My point is that children are no longer being TAUGHT to sit still and listen. They are constantly being given entertainment and do not have to glean information from less stimulating sources IE - a sermon. 
 
I sincerely believe that if children were taken to church AND taught to sit quietly and listen that they would be better prepared to deal with school situations. 
 
Do I believe that this would completely take care of the problem? No, I am sure medication is a miracle for some who suffer from these conditions. I am simply saying that I think the problem could be lessened if we changed the expectations we have for our children and helped to teach them how to work within those guidelines. 
 
Thanks for taking my thought train.

Peronsalities

Thus far I have 4 children. Thus 4 I have 4 VERY different children. The fact that they are all so different from each other and pretty much all other children I have met amazes, amuses and astounds me. 

My eldest son:
He is old enough to go to school and loves it. He didn't really want to have much to do with learning letters and things of that nature before school and I didn't send him to preschool. He can read the bible with very little problem. I find that incredible. He loves detail. He loves Lego's and building highly intricate things. He loves cars and trucks, he honestly can identify most vehicle makes. ( I can't) He loves looking for the logos on things. He loves Star Wars and Bakugans ( which I think are actually pretty cool but you probably don't know what they are.) He loves reading and helping and hugging and tickling. He has a yellow knit blanket that was made for him as an infant that he still loves. It has been repaired several times. He is a rather calm child. He can sit and play or work on things for EXTREMELY long periods of time. Far longer than the average kid his age. He has a very impressive vocabulary which makes me very happy.Here are some examples:
At at 2 1/2 yr: "Thank you very much for your assistance."
(I can't remember all the ages.)
"My tent is too slack."
"My conversation with Grandma was very enjoyable."
"... for little minions like my brother...."
He told his teacher that the pieces they were using were "inedible" in kindergarten. I loved the expression she gave him. Priceless.

My eldest daughter:
Currently believes she is in charge. This evening I was trying to understand who her real parents are and if they are ready to take a turn with her. She can be hysterically funny. Ninja Turtles are a big thing right now. Don't get to close while she is showing you her ninja moves- you might get hurt. She is full of attitude. She is pretty far on the small side of average, but I don't think she realizes that. The #1 insult to her is being called "little". Don't ever mention that. A woman at church watched her walk by one time and turned to me commenting "That may not be a big body, but I swear she is about 6 ft tall." She doesn't put up with anything from anybody, which leaves me frequently physically "assisting"her with tasks that I have asked her to do. *She has NO problem approaching adults and has several times simply informed them that they are wrong. Generally, when she has done this they really were wrong, so I let it go. She also does not NEED people. She will deal with them and interact with them when she wants to. But she is perfectly content to play in the dirt without anyone else around. She is the destroyer of clothing, and more boyish then her elder brother. She looks like a princess and might fool someone who isn't paying attention. Yes, there she is in a beautiful dress with her hair in a lovely braid, suddenly down on all fours running down the hallway claiming she is a dog.

She went through a period of time that really helped my imagination. She would only answer to her alter ego. The problem was, that ego changed frequently. When wanting the dishes unloaded or the clothes put away you had to first figure out who you were addressing, some of our most common names were:
Puppy
Kitty
Duck
Superman
Spiderman
Batman
Superhero (yes some days her name was Superhero.)
Baby Godzilla
Raphael, still makes common appearances.

She is all attitude. I have no desire to "break" her of it. I have a feeling someday she will really need it. For now we are trying to work around it, and redirect it.

My second son,
He is like this wonderful secret that my family has. He is sweet and charming and so terribly funny. He tells the best jokes and stories. I have some of the best conversations with him and he is still very young. He has a brilliant mind and is very good at figuring things out. He worships his siblings. He can be very mischievous at times. The thing that amuses me about him is that he really is a secret. There are very few people who ever get to experience just how awesome he really is.

He has a "list". His list is what keeps his secret safe. If you are not on that list you do not exist to him. It is so funny to watch. His older siblings are rather outgoing so people try to treat him the same way. It doesn't work. In order to receive his acknowledgement you must take the time to build a relationship with him or you are not part of his world. I have watched several people who want to be on that list, but who won't take the time to get there. He will not be pestered into loving you, or tickled. You can't make an occasional comment or hand him a piece of candy. He requires your sincere attention doing something with him that he loves to do to get on that list. I have heard numerous people tell me that "He just doesn't say much to me", "He is awfully quiet", "I had no idea he was that smart", " I didn't know he could speak that well". Well if you aren't on that list, he doesn't speak that well and he isn't that smart. Sometimes I really wish the world could experience just how awesome he really is. But I guess he will be our secret.

My second daughter:
When my niece, who is approximately the same age, is happy she grins a sweet little grin at you. When my daughter is happy there is a full body joyous celebration. She is an all or nothing babe. She is angry, concentrating or EXCITED. Those are the moods. Take your pick. There are no other options.  If you want to see EXCITED just put your head close enough for her to get your hair. Oh the rapturous squeals! She is young enough yet that it will be exciting to see what other personality quirks she fits in.

I think they are so wonderful and I love to brag about them. I find it terribly sad that there are people in this world that would do horrible things to children and would and will do anything and everything in my power to protect them.

What gifts I have been given.


*As a side note. I have decided not to teach the whole "you don't talk to adults like that" thing. If I follow that logic out I am leaving myself open to speaking to siblings or friends unkindly or inappropriately also. I am opting for an "everyone deserves to be spoken to with respect." That is until they cross the line and overstep what is appropriate.

Kate Asked....

1. What is your creative outlet?
I honestly don't know that I really have one. I am not very good at being crafty. I have done some quilts in the past and I really do love them. Um... I paint minatures sometimes. If I had a picture of one of the minis I had painted I would share it with you. These are Easter eggs my kids and I dyed using onion skins to make the dye and then pressing flowers and other plants against them to leave the impressions. I think they are cool, and even neater when you can hold them and really see all the detail.

2. What is your favorite place to be? I am so moody. Sometimes my bed is by far the best place ever, especially on a cold night snuggling up to my husband. Nothing better.
I also really love being on an airplane or on a long car trip. Adventures. I don't really need a serious destination.


3. Do you now, or have you ever had a collection of anything? (mine was and is Pez dispensers)
I have a collection of minatures for a game called Confrontation that you have probably never heard of. I also tend to collect pillows in my bed. I have far more than my husband approves of. My biggest collection right now is probably kid art. I have to keep pictures of things like Naomi's rendition of "Aliens sledriding."


4. Share 3 things or objects you love most, and why. (people included.)
Christ, My family (ok that is 5 right there), and freedom. I love making my own choices and dealing with the consequences.


5. Why do you blog?
I started this blog so that I could make my own list of other people's blogs that I follow. I just needed a place where they were all together. Since I started and had a format all set up I occasionally write things that I found amusing or want to rant about. Often I hope I am able to present something gives you an alternate persepctive to look at, or laugh at sometimes.


6. What is your take on pets in the home/ as family members?
I LOVE a well trained dog. I enjoy an affectionate and entertaining cat. I do not like fish, or birds as pets. I think lizards are neat but you don't get much in return from them. I don't mind other people having pets, but I have enough organizims aka children to take care of I have no desire to have more things to train and clean up after. I can see how people get attached to them. Some pets are very endearing. I happen to be allergic to nearly all of them. There I don't want to clean up after them and I don't want to spend my life sneezing. That is why I have a pet free house.


7. What are your internet 'guilty pleasures'? (aka facebook, youtube, etc)
Facebook, my list of blogs, DM of the Rings-  http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=612 - is hysterically funny if you have done any role playing. Order of the Stick found here-http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0001.html - is so very entertaining. I also enjoy Strongbad emails. Then add in a few random Youtube videos and those are what I enjoy about the internet.



8. I hate the dentist. OK, that's not a question, but it IS open for discussion amongst yourselves. :) I feel like Linda Richman, from coffee Talk , leaving you with a topic to discuss...
I don't mind going to the dentist. I have never had a realy bad experience.  I like the way my teeth feel afterward. I do admit I don't really like having other people floss my teeth, that generally hurts. Somethings you should do yourself, brush your own hair, put on your own clothes, floss your own teeth...  I even had my wisdom teeth out and ate a hamburger that evening. I don't know what the big deal about the dentist is. Hm... Maybe it is because I have not had a cavity in an adult tooth. Maybe I would hate them more if I had.


My questions for the taggees are:
1. What is your coolest scar and how did you get it?
2.What do you want to do before you die?
3. What is the best book you have ever read?
4. What is your all time favorite dessert?
5. The food you wish would be blown from the face of the earth?
6. Coolest person you have ever met?
7. Person you miss most?
8. Favorite childhood game?


And I tag....
Meggan Britton- My cousin who.
Miss Prism- My cousin
Margaret Fike- My sister
Rachael Anderson- My cousin

Yea.... Kate tagged everybody I know.... Thanks Kate...
So if you have been tagged please let me hear your answers. We are all dying to know...

Tears

I would think most of you would probably not be surprised if I said I don't cry very often. Well, OK I cry more than my husband but not on a frequent basis. When a movie or book starts to pull those kind of strings I step back remind myself it is fiction and get a grip. If I am feeling it at church I fight as hard as I can to keep those tears in their rightful place, on the inside of my head. I am way too tough to cry over an injury. Stressful day? I tend to just act angry instead of cry.

I do believe elevated hormone levels are just a world to themselves and do horrible things to me. I do admit to getting irrational and weepy when hormones are out of wack.

But back to normal Vanessa, I am just not a big crier. I don't like it.

I went to a funeral yesterday. I have been to many a funeral in my lifetime. My father used to be the bishop at our church and took us along to funerals and viewings for people I really didn't know all the time.

I did, however know this particular person. As I sat there fighting my tears, I was pondering in my heart what makes death so sad? I KNOW with all my heart what happens after. It isn't that big of a deal. This man was prepared. He and his family had been sealed together for time and all eternity.

Why do I not cry? Why do I feel the need to bury tears? Why do I feel uncomfortable with others seeing me emotional? What good does it do to suppress them?  What do I accomplish in hiding my real emotions? Does it help someone else if I don't cry? Do I make someone feel better by appearing emotionally unattached?- Even if deep down I am ripped apart? Why do I feel stupid for crying sometimes?Why am I concerned at all about the impression others get when I cry?

When I thought about the man who had moved on I wasn't really that sad, not for him. Tears were for-



The nephew singing " I am a child of God" and starting to cry.
My dear friend, the man's son, who had just came back from Afghanistan now burying his father 2 weeks later.
Listening to the letter of the missionary son who chose to remain on the mission he had started 3 weeks ago instead of return for the funeral.The missionary who would return to a fatherless home in 2 years.
The daughter holding her 3 week old infant.
The 2 children still young enough to be at home and need a father.
The woman who will now have to go on without his physical presence at her side.

So I let go. I cried. I cried that I wouldn't see him again or talk to him. There were tears for his family now having to fight through this world without his stability to watch. There were tears for death in general. But most of my tears for memories. Memories and missed opportunities, for holes that were left behind, for grieving survivors. Aunt Brenda, of Hiram, and Ben, my Grandpa, my father-in-law who I never got to build a relationship with. For the friend who was widowed at 4 months pregnant. My little sister Natalie. My own father who never got to meet his grandchildren in this world. I cried. I don't care if I made anyone uncomfortable. I needed to cry and I did. And I intend to do so more often.

Funerals are for the loved ones. For those left to pick up the pieces.I am learning that now, maybe my father was wise in taking us along. He helped me understand death wasn't a big deal for the dead, now we have to help the living.